January 22, 2016
So much has been written about the power of words. And so little is understood about it.
How do we know?
We can see, hear and feel it every day. Nearly in every conversation we are involved in or listen to.
Do yourself a favor and observe the next conversation you are about to enter carefully. Participate actively in this conversation, not as a speaker, but as an observer. Find out where the involved participants come from and where thy want to go.
- What is their position?
- What is their intention?
- How do they bring their point across?
- To what extent do they value and respect the other people’s statements?
- How do they work towards a win-win solution?
Once you have gained an overview of what is going on in this dialogue, watch the language being used. You may want to close your eyes and just feel what kind of impact certain statements have on you and your body. Then watch the body language of the participants.
In the beginning was the word…
You will be surprised how much you will find out about the dialogue partners, not only about their goals and their purpose of being involved in this conversation. You will find out a lot about their values, beliefs, character and last but not least their inner world.
How it looks like inside of them will be reflected on the outside by the way they express themselves.
Why is that?
Words are vibrations and therefore they travel on a certain wavelength. Depending on your receptivity, or in other words your level of consciousness, you can see, hear and feel things which are communicated through sound.
Before the birth of atoms, before protons, neutrons and electrons, there is…the vibrating string of energy. This theory, popularly known as string theory, is one of the newest upstarts in science. It was first introduced in the late 1960s and is now a popular field of study. String theory claims that everything in our universe, from the planets swirling through space to the tiniest subatomic particle, is at its most basic level made up of microscopic strands of energy. This conclusion has important implications for our understanding of why energy, sound and vibration are at the frontier of progress in many fields, including leadership development.
You are in control
Other than many people believe when being involved in a discussion or argument, it is not only the recipient who is responsible for how a certain word or sentence is received. It is primarily the sender who is responsible for how a communication is received, because all communication starts with one’s thinking.
The way you think and what you think determines the words you are going to use. This means that it is quite easy to decipher how and what someone really thinks, just by listening to the word the person is using.
Be aware of your attention and intention
It is a universal law that where our attention goes, energy flows and results show.
When we are in a negotiation process and we constantly focus on what possibly can go wrong, guess what happens? It goes wrong. When we think that the other party might want to cheat us, we constantly look for hidden traps and problems and…we will find or create them.
So the intention with which we enter any conversation is crucial for the course as well as for the outcome. If you think it will be difficult, it will be difficult. If you think it will be a pleasure, it will be a pleasure.
Words are the vibrations of nature. Therefore, beautiful words create beautiful nature. Ugly words create ugly nature. This is the root of the universe. – Masaru Emoto –
Words of a Heartfelt Leader
On your path to becoming a Heartfelt Leader it is extremely important to watch your own thoughts and also the words which are created by them.
Start with the end in mind and mentalize* your desired outcome. Be the director of your success movie and see, hear and feel the optimal communication which leads you to the promised land.
Then use the words and gestures the characters used in your movie. This needs some practice and the more aware you get about your and other people’s language the more you are in control of your communication.
Opening power words
Here are some general words that create a positive atmosphere and win-win outcomes:
- Thank you
- I appreciate
- I understand
- Together we can/will
- Let us find
- How can I help/facilitate/do
Be mindful with people who say:
- I hate this or that
- I fight for my …
- You need to …
- … any kind of negative verbalization
*to mentalize = creating a mental map of something (not necessarily a visualization)